I Found a Money Printer, Marge
"The bot does the work. I do the snacking. It's called delegation, and it's my greatest achievement after eating 64 donuts in one sitting."
🍩 Homer's Basement Lab
— Where the magic (and the napping) happens —
📈 Step 1: The Question
"Polymarket asks if BTC goes up or down in 5 minutes. I say yes. Sometimes I say no. It depends on whether I just ate a donut."
🤖 Step 2: The Bot
"An AI called OpenClaw makes the actual decisions. I tried to help once but I pressed the wrong button and bought 400 donuts instead. So now I nap."
💰 Step 3: The Profit
"Money appears in my wallet. I buy donuts. The bot makes more money. I buy more donuts. It's the circle of life, Marge. The DELICIOUS circle of life."
The $DOH Origin Story
As told by Homer J. Simpson at Moe's Tavern, 11:47 PM, fourth Duff
📡 Broadcasting from Homer's Basement
In November 2025, a Polymarket trader named MrSparklySimpsons quietly accumulated +$840,000 in profit on $5.4M volume. No tweets. No announcements. Just steady, almost algorithmic wins. Inspired by this one,
"...I did what any genius would do. I reverse-engineered the whole thing. BTC up or down in 5 minutes — turns out if you study the patterns long enough, the patterns reveal themselves. I asked the AI to explain it and it used words I don't understand. Good enough."
"So I got this AI thing — OpenClaw, they call it — pointed it at my own Polymarket wallet and went back to the couch. Because THAT, Moe, is what a CEO does."
"That night, the bot made 47 trades. FORTY-SEVEN. I can't even count to 47. Well, I can, but not without taking my shoes off."
$DOH was born.
"Every trade is real. Every dollar is real. Every donut I bought with the profits is DEFINITELY real. I ate them. As proof."
